By Chris Bassett, MA, LMFT:

Even when life is “normal,” relationships and marriage take hard work. When I saw my doctor this year, she asked about my stress level. I told her it was lower than it had been in years. My doctor told me that my answer was uncommon among her patients, which didn’t surprise me.

The pandemic has caused an additional layer of stress, which causes more strain on relationships. Why? Many people have done more work from home in the last year than ever before, and the juggling of home and work life in the same location has been challenging for most. In addition, there have been more concerns about health in the last year, and opinions about a whole host of things have been strong! For families with children, the school year is coming to an end.

Life is changing.

Our world is in a time of much transition. And in the midst of this transition, some churches have closed their doors. People have changed their place of worship. Families have moved across the country, or
just to a different town, searching for something new. For some, coping with all of the stress has driven them to addictions or relational heartaches.

With this much transition happening in our world and in our personal lives, it’s no surprise that people find their relationships needing some extra work.

“When couples have external stress, it affects how they interact with each other,” says Paula Pietromonaco, a professor emerita at the University of Massachusetts, Amherst, who recently wrote an analysis on the potential impact of Covid-19 on marriages. As counselors, when we see interactions becoming less constructive, it’s telling. When blame becomes part of the interactions in marriages or families, it may signal that you need help to work out the differences, communicate better, and resolve your conflicts.

An attorney from Denver, Rich Harris, states that, “People get divorced not because of the immediate acute stressor. They get divorced because of fundamental problems in the relationship.” Marriages are built on commitment, trust, intimacy and a deep friendship. If those are not strong, your marriage may be showing signs that you need help. Our team of counselors can help. If your spouse isn’t ready, the transformation of your marriage can start with you. (Yes, we know how to do marriage counseling with one person on the couch.) The quantity and quality time that you invest in your marriage matters. You can learn to be a better listener, get to know your spouse in ways that have been neglected, and learn to love your spouse in ways that matter. You can find HOPE again.

If you, or someone you know, is looking for help with their marriage, give us a call. We have counselors with immediate availability and our paperwork is online and only takes 15 minutes. We can secure an appointment for you as soon as you’re ready.

For more information, you can visit our website at LighthouseCounselingNoCo.com or call Ann to set up your appointment at 970-413-8998.